The C4MS decided that a good use of its time and resources was to renew its Vision and Mission. They felt so proud of it they wrote an actual circular about it. When I read it I had a mini throw up made of muesli and yoghurt mixed with black coffee.
I hate these things on principle because, ultimately, they mean nothing and only serve to give people who have no useful skills a warm and fuzzy feeling after a day of workshopping and brainstorming instead of doing real work.
Look at this:
From 1 April 2016 the CMS’ new Vision is to promote vibrant and affordable healthcare cover for all.
From 1 April 2016? Does that mean that on 31 March the vision was something completely different? The opposite? Are we going to see the CMS behaving in a completely different way from now on? I think not.
Also, what the actual fuck is “vibrant healthcare cover”?! I ask this because I actually bothered to look up vibrant in a dictionary and this is what I got:
› energetic, exciting, and full of enthusiasm:
a vibrant young performer
a vibrant personality
a vibrant city
The hope is that this area will develop into a vibrant commercial centre.
› Vibrant colour or light is bright and strong:
He always uses vibrant colours in his paintings.
Are medical schemes going to be required to use lots of primary colours on their websites? Should they use more bouncing animations? Will all calls now be answered using a Barney the dinosaur voice?
Of course everybody would like to see more affordable healthcare, Captain Obvious. How about actually getting on with figuring out how?
And don’t get me started on the Mission. They could have written “Our mission is to do our jobs.” But of course coming up with that wouldn’t get you out of work for a few hours.
Many of us think these things are a load of crap but, as the picture below shows, there is a good chance that you disagree with me. This only proves that about half of us are idiots. Or at least bigger idiots than the other half.
Hi! I’m Bursar and I’m an unreformed cynic.